1. Do you open your children’s letters?
2. Do you make it as easy as is reasonably possible for your children to entertain their friends in your house, apartment or flat?
3. Do you give your children an “allowance” which they have to budget themselves, rather than paying all expenses, and giving just “pocket money” to them?
4. Do you allow some choice in the matter of clothes?
5. Do you show your children the good manners you expect from them, e.g. always thanking them for small services?
6. Do you allow your children to share in both the work and the privileges of home-making, by asking them to perform some definite job, and by giving a say in such matters as the planning of the family holiday?
7. Do you cultivate personal interests and friendships, so that you do not act as a “tie” on your older children?
8. Do you insist on staying up or keeping awake for your older children when they have an evening out?
9. Do you recognize your children’s right to have friendships and opinions of their own, and refrain from petty criticisms?

How did you do on the nine questions? How about your spouse? Do you think that, in this twenty-first century, it is ever right, ethical or moral to open, monitor, check or read your children’s letters, text messages, BEBO, e-mails and other internet-based communications? How do you reach – do you reach? - the satisfying balance within your family between, firstly, respecting your children’s rights to privacy, with, secondly, your own parental responsibilities to protect, train and direct them in ways which you consider to be necessary and appropriate?

Apart from – including? - class-mates, how many friends does each of your children have? Have you met each of these individually, face-to-face? Where and how long ago did these meetings take place? Do you know these friends well enough to assess their likely supportive or damaging impacts on your child?