Tantrums – normal, necessary…noisy!

Tantrum: "a violent demonstration of rage or frustration; a sudden burst of ill temper." "A childish fit of rage; outburst of bad temper."

These two dictionary definitions of 'tantrum' are most revealing. Each one contains an explanation that fits perfectly with our image of young children. Yet, also, each definition offers us a second wording that would fit much more closely with adults than with youngsters.

'Bad temper' and 'ill temper' are emotional expressions which we more closely associate with adults, yes? As the saying goes, "keep your temper; no-one else wants it!"

The word, 'temper,' is an interesting one, also. The Collins dictionary tells us that temper means "a frame of mind; mood or humour," but also, as is the usual connotation of the word, temper also refers to "a sudden outburst of anger; a tendency to exhibit anger; irritability." Most interestingly, perhaps, another meaning of 'temper' is put as "a mental condition of moderation and calm."

From a parenting perspective, the bottom line on temper tantrums is that they are normal, necessary, needed, and… noisy!

Temper tantrums are normal. Of all the parents you currently know, is there even one who could honestly say that their child has never had a tantrum, or even rarely? I doubt it.

Part of the normality of temper tantrums is that many a youngster can choose to 'have' one in the last place that we would wish to be subjected to it. In the supermarket, for instance. Or at Mass, a funeral, or other formal occasion.

In simple language, a temper tantrum, or a tantrum, when engaged in by a child, is "an uncontrolled outburst of emotion." When your child does 'throw' a tantrum, the three main points to ensure are that a) the child is, and remains, safe, b) other people remain safe, and c) that things aren't broken or damaged.

Tantrums in a two-year-old tie in very closely with the huge advancements that are and have been occurring within your little toddler's brain structure in the early years of its life. Typically, by age two a child has well-developed capacities for sensations, emotions, and thoughts.

Due to its lack of language skills to assist it in dealing with strong emotions – most two-year-olds cannot talk sufficiently to express, let alone explain, feelings – an overwhelming sense of frustration, or something akin to frustration, can suddenly overcome your little one, with the resultant tantrum.

Developing the attitude that tantrums are normal, necessary and noisy will help you as a parent to stay sane, safe, steady and strong when your little darling needs you most – that very time when it loses all control.

Tantrums are a necessary part of growing up; even a necessary bit of living! We all too quickly forget that adults – be it at age twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, sixty, seventy, eighty or ninety and beyond – that we supposed grown-ups are also subject to throwing tantrums, to having a fit, to losing our temper.