A reader was wondering how to best succeed with potty training her toddler. She writes, "My two-and-a-half year-old is currently being toilet trained. What is the best way to go about this without scaring him?"

Once again, I'm left guessing a whole lot from this scant letter. Still, here I go, firstly with one or two assumptions. I'm assuming that the writer is a woman (not sure why!) I'm also assuming that things are well, and that the writer is merely concerned about they continuing thus. The basics regarding potty/toiler training are: patience, timing, an attitude that there will be 'set-backs,' the realization that every healthy toddler eventually learns to use the toiled as required, and, most importantly, a thick skin, so that you can remain un-dinted and undaunted by the un-asked-for advice, warnings, remarks and comments of those who claim that their little darlings "sailed through the whole thing without a glitch, a complaint, or even one 'mistake.'" Toilet training - every child does it and masters it. However, in the final analysis, it is one of the most personal and private things that your child will ever be asked or required to do. As such, we need to be very respectful of our youngsters as they master this vital life skill.

Following that easy point, let me get straight down to a most delicate aspect of a boy's rearing: the toilet training of boys by mothers is potentially a horrendous time, primarily for the young boy's sense of well-being, pride, masculinity, and self-mastery.

On the basis that no woman had to master the fine and delicate arts of penile-direction and penile-flow-control during her own tender years, she strides into unknown and highly delicate territory when assuming the trainer role in these areas with her young boy. While most of us correctly place greatest emphasis on our youngster doing his or her 'poos' into the potty rather than in the nappy, urine flow and control is an equal part of toilet training.

The two greatest areas of danger with boys are the handling and cleaning of the boy's genitals, and our use of our language around toilet training.

Practically all adults – male and female - intuitively know that a male's testicles can be extremely sensitive. So, go very, very gently when touching, drying, cleaning or directing your young boy's genitals – penis or testicles. We all know boys' genitals are obviously different to those of a girl, but really, only men know how much, from a male perspective. Go gently there, dear reader.