As a man, I have occasionally felt righteous anger when hearing mothers talking about their young son's penis and genitals as if they are mere play-things, and a source of mirth, laughter, jokes and belittlement. For any boy, the use of such words as "Peter," "Micky," "John Thomas," "Willie" - to mention just the less disparaging words – are utterly unacceptable, and potentially debilitating, hurtful and of long-lasting negative effect on young boys.

A young boy has a penis and two testicles that go to make up his genitals. He also has an anus. Call these sacred, invaluable and perfect body-parts by their correct names, not by derogatory, insulting put-downs.

Anyway, back to our writer. Assuming that the toilet training is going along well enough, some of the following might prove useful: take the child with you when you use the toilet talk with him about giving away – or selling? - the excess nappies to younger 'babies' if an 'accident' happens, be sure to immediately make light of it, especially with your facial expressions instead of asking him regularly if he needs to go to the toilet, perhaps set a timer, thus encouraging him to become more responsible for himself – the ultimate aim of all parents when peeing, why not place a biscuit in the toilet bowl, and encourage him to have some target practice! When you use the toilet, encourage him to sit on his potty. If he does nothing, at least he'll be getting used to a 'no-spills' visit. Keep doing what works.

And finally, do remember, once toilet training has finished, you will probably never be as intimate with your child again throughout his entire life. Feel that loss and separation. Mourn for it if you feel somewhat sad. Then bless the growth, and have a cup of tea!

Dan Arnold Coaches parents through their parenting challenges on a 1-to-1 basis, including telephone coaching. He also presents Talks, Workshops and Seminars on Parenting to Schools, Groups and Companies. Dan can be contacted on 087 – 7506 771, or at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

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