"Life consists only of the present moment, and if we do the right thing at this moment, we move towards improvement."

So says Rudolf Dreikurs, in his brilliant book, Happy Children.This is a publication that I highly recommend to those of you into reading parenting books.

Yes, "life consists only of the present moment." How often do we parents find ourselves despairing of your youngsters ever getting their head around positive uses the idea of planning for the future, of 'leaving a bit for later,' or denying a pleasure today in order to reap a larger harvest tomorrow?

Perhaps the greatest lesson that any child offers to its parents is this very same message which Dreikurs spends nearly 300 pages in explaining. This message is that, indeed, 'life consists only of the present moment.' If you have a baby or toddler, such an approach to life by your child will be very obvious to you at the moment. Babies live only in the present moment, but they, rightfully, have no concept such as moving towards improvement.

Blissful happiness, searing tantrum, or healing sleep can each instantly evaporate when you're eighteen months old. The younger you are, the more your wants, sensations, feelings, emotions, thoughts, desires and goals are focused just on you. Others' desires, plans, needs, wants, objectives or concerns are of no importance to a baby or a toddler. Its all me, me, me. And, again, rightfully so.

By the time you've moved from ten months to ten years, a lot of other things have moved as well. As a child moves from toddlerhood toward puberty, her worldview slowly changes or evolves - and in a stop-start not-so predictable way – from 'me, me, me' to more of 'we, we, we,' when new friends, friendships, opportunities and influences are beginning to play an increasingly important part in your youngster's range of influences. But, still, at pre-puberty, the parental ties and influences are huge, strong, and often feel as though they're everlasting and built of steel.

Nonetheless, move on again, on to, say, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, or eighteen years of age. Where are the primary influences emanating from now? Long gone are the pure, 100 per cent 'me, me, me,' while the 'we, we, we' pulls can now only share the 'stage of influence' in the world of teenagers. Parental influence is still very important, but usually greatly diluted. More and more, as your child matures toward adulthood, peer pressure usually steadily increases in importance.