Some things never change. The August Bank Holiday comes round again, the weather is crap and the government are telling us to slow down.

When you finally do get out on the road heading off with the family in tow you are more likely to find however that it's difficult to get moving significantly above walking place. Like many countries without public transport such as the USA, Guatemala and the Democratic Republic of Congo, Ireland grinds to a shuddering halt every public holiday.

The Bank Holiday weekend finished a couple of days ago so you are probably just now getting over the trauma. You have my commiserations, especially if you spent holiday time anywhere near Dublin or out other favourite hotspots such as Abbeyleix, New Ross, Macroom, Buttevant, Claregalway etc. etc. Of course you probably didn't intend spending half of your well-earned break admiring the decor of Luigi's chipper in Abbeyleix but just regard it as a bonus extra holiday memory.

The problem is of course that once you leave the Pale our road infrastructure compares poorly with that of Burkina Faso while there is better public transport in Antarctica than Ireland. The result is mayhem when we all get into the car and go for a spin at the same time.

When you add to this the fact that around 49 per cent of Irish motorists are complete idiots, it's not surprising it takes you 15 hours to drive what in reality is a relatively short 243 miles.

The problem with the Bank Holidays is that the slow drivers come out in swarms. Picture the scene, you leave home and hit the dual carriageway, you are going along nicely at 60 mph, then after about 20 miles the roads narrows and you are at the mercy of the slowest driver. From then on you average 40 mph for the rest of the trip, the kids get cranky, the rain is falling and each village takes half an hour to get through.

The gardaí will be out nabbing people on the good roads where the speed limits are too slow, good for the government's coffers during these lean times no doubt. But what about those cretins who delay, frustrate and obstruct? In my opinion the most dangerous drivers on the road.

You know the ones, hogging the centre of the road in a Noddy car oblivious to the queue of traffic behind then that stretches back to the coast. It's time these hazards were taken off the roads altogether. What we need is a minimum speed limit for national roads and the banning of agricultural vehicles from them.

In Germany, the States, Canada, China, Taiwan and the Philippines various minimum speed limits are in force. Given that the roads programme has been cancelled (they wont admit it but it has) this is one way that those in charge could make the lives of citizens a little easier rather than more difficult.

It's only an opinion of course but such a move would reduce accidents and fatalities too. It wont happen, but maybe the guards could do us all a favour and tell them to speed up, not slow down.

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