STINGY BUSINESS TYPES

What a shower we have for commercial princes! They won't pay their water charges and now owe the Corpo in excess of five million euros. Yet the Council throws Joe Soap into jail for not paying his refuse and water charges while turning a blind eye to the business sector. Why aren't that lot in the clink, the Mayfield protestors are asking? What's good for the goose is good for the gander. We agree.

And then there are the scrooges who won't fork out for the Christmas lights. They want the City Council -us- to provide the €200,000 for bringing a bit of festive cheer to the city centre. The Cork Business Association sought a donation of €1,000 each from the traders but got nowhere, so they opted out.

Why doesn't the Chamber of Horrors, sorry Commerce , step in and remind the stinkers that Christmas is the shop owners' time for making mega-bucks and the least they could do is to give something back to the people?

SWINGING A CAT

Petrol prices are soaring but a geezer in Germany has developed an extraordinary alternative -cats. According to the 'Bild' newspaper the inventor can turn cats into fuel. To fill a car tank he needs 20 moggies.

The scientist, Christian Koch, told reporters it was true his technique could turn dead cats into organic diesel fuel but he had never used a single one. Yes, he had thrown an odd toad or two into his patented machine, and perhaps a couple of rabbits, but he mostly produced his fuel from waste products such as paper, plastic and textiles.

He pointed out that a cat would produce about 2.5 litres of fuel but that was a theoretical calculation and that he'd never used so much as a single kitten. Animal rights campaigners are outraged. Warning: Bioverda, don't even think of it!

SILENT NIGHT?

And talking of Christmas, a radio station in the States, Sunrise Radio, is still in the wars over a comedy show it broadcast last Christmas Eve. It featured a recording of people breaking wind to the tune of the traditional carol, Silent Night!

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