TWO YEARS BEFORE THE MAST

Little Willie O'Dea, the Defence Minister, says he really has the interests of the Haulbowline Matelots close to his honourable heart.  The Fishery Protection lads have been griping about the length of time they have to spend at sea -200 days per year.  It's making a bags of their social life, they claim, and when on shore they go through a type of Sailor Stress Syndrome -rather like the sunburn illness endured by the army boys in Lebanon and for which they got buckets of compo.

God be with the days when the Irish Navy had no ships at all or when very sympathetic commanders ensured the ship always got home in time for tea!  (We're not joking).

BRITS OUT

Poor Cllr Fiona Kerins, the Sinn Fein lady on the Corpo.  The Establishment politicos ganged up on her and, true to form, tore out her tripes for proposing that the City Council no longer extend a welcome to visiting British warships.

'I'm embarrassed' said that sea green incorruptible, Terry Shannon of Fianna Fail (The Republican Party).  'We don't want such a motion,' tut-tutted  Fine Gael (The United Ireland Party).  'It's crazy,' roared Labour's Michael O'Connell (The James Connolly Party).

'The visits are now so numerous that the British think Cork is a home port' complained Cllr Fiona  (The Really Republican Party).  'The British occupy a part of our country and in protest we shouldn't be allowing them in,' she tried to explain above the din.

Good point but lost on the Right Honourables who apparently are in denial about the political status of the North.  The Brits continue to occupy six of our counties, lads, and, whether you know it or not, unification is still the goal of Fianna Fail and the Shinners (the others couldn't care less). Many people north and south haven't forgotten that little point.