LICENCE TO THRILL

Did you know that Bertie Ahern doesn’t have a licence?  Not a licence to kill, ya eegit, a driving licence!  Well, not a full driving licence. He only has a provisional one.

One of those things his henchman, Minister Dempsey, wanted quarter of a million people to get rid of within forty eight hours or he’d send the wretches to the salt mines.

At the Mahon Tribunal earlier this year the Don’s pal, Ceilia Larkin, revealed that he drove her down O’Connell Street and parked outside the AIB bank with the engine running while she went inside to collect 50,000 smackers in a brown bag for his immediate use. 

But, suggested the Irish Times some months ago, it was unclear if the Bert had a full driving licence at the time - and no statement emanated from FF headquarters to indicate whether or which, or he ever sat a test.

But with the huge amount of loot he’s now trousering he need never go behind a steering wheel again -his ‘man’ will do it for him.  On the other hand, in the political sense, Bertie probably doesn’t care how he travels so long as he’s in the driving seat!

TIME GENTLEMEN!

It’s the end of an era.  Makers of the black stuff, Diageo, have put up for sale the Guinness House building on Union Quay.  Jazz watchers are viewing the development with interest, having noticed Guinness’ declining interest in the October orgy of booze, sex and foot stompin’.

Long gone are the Jazz Festival’s Guinness courtesy cars, the press lunch and the nocturnal knees-up, particularly the ones that used to take place under the auspices of that great and good representative of the company, ‘Timmy Guinness’.  God be with the days!

ON A WING AND A PRAYER

Should Joe Gantly, the chairman of the Cork Airport Authority, and his board throw their hat at it and resign en masse? 

Last week that thundering political dunderhead Noel Dempsey, Minister for Transport, summoned Joe to a special audience with him. 

The chief executive of Cork Business Association, Donal Healy, promptly took the unusual step of publicly demanding the reason why Joe went to the meeting without his board members and if he would inform Leesiders as to the nature of the discussions.