Charity helping grieving parents

A Cork mother who lost her only child in 2015 has said attending a support group with other bereaved parents was a lifeline for her.

Suzanne Dineen’s 25 year old daughter Aisling passed away in May 2015 as a result of undiagnosed cardiomyopathy, which she said plunged her into grief.

Cardiomyopathy causes the heart muscle to stiffen and enlarge, making it difficult for it to pump blood.

“She had just started a new job and was a typical young person - she loved going out and going on holidays,” said Mrs Dineen, who lives in Togher and works for Apple.

She said a friend suggested she might benefit from Anam Cara, an all-island charity which supports other parents who have lost a child. Suzanne said attending meetings was the first time she felt understood since Aisling’s death.

“There were some days I didn’t want to put my head outside the door. I didn’t want to see anyone. Even doing the grocery shopping, I would go to the other side of the city because I didn’t want to meet my neighbours.

“You ask yourself ‘am I going mad?’ Other mams or dads who have gone through this get it.

“I only started sharing and opening up after about two and a half years and sharing things I wouldn’t have dreamed of sharing with others.

“My grief will always be the same, but I have learned to manage it a lot better. When I do feel overwhelmed, I can pick up the phone to any of the other parents in the WhatsApp group – we help each other.

“I know it’s a big step and it’s a step nobody ever wants to take but once you go to an Anam Cara meeting nobody is under pressure. If you don’t want to talk, that’s okay too.

“I still go every month and now I work as a volunteer parent. Sharing with others is what worked for me and Anam Cara is very important to me,” she said.

According to psychotherapist Felicity Connolly, facilitator of the West Cork Anam Cara support group, parents say that when they come to the meetings, there is something different about talking to people who have walked the same path.

“No one has to talk if they don’t want to; there’s no pressure on people. We meet for an hour and a half and there’s a cup of tea. People can come to listen if that’s what they want,” said Ms Connolly.

The West Cork Anam Cara support group meets at Fernhill House Hotel in Clonakilty on the third Tuesday of every month from 7.30-9pm.