Cork Profile
Reggie Owner of a €5.4 million mansion on the Blackrock Road
When you were small, what did you want to be as a grown-up? I wanted to be known for my beautifully spoken accent and youthful good looks. Job done.
Tell us about your career progression to your role today: What’s a career? I inherited the old man’s import-export business if that’s any help to you.
What is the most enjoyable aspect of what you do? The fact that it doesn’t involve actually doing anything is incredibly enjoyable. You should try it. (I suppose you can’t really.)
What motivates you? The fear of people thinking I’m from Ballinlough.
What advice would you give your 15 year old self? Stop driving around Douglas in a Lamborghini Reggie, you’re only making them jealous.
If you weren’t in the job you have, what would you be doing? Again, I don’t have a job. That’s for other people. But I’ve really enjoyed being on the stage in The Everyman – it’s a great chance to look down on the people of Cork and I can’t wait to get back up there to show them what I know about social climbing.
What is your greatest life or career achievement to-date? My children. Hugo in particular, he has very aristocratic cheekbones.
Who has had the biggest influence on you in your life? My accountant, Scobie Comerford. Without him, I’d have handed millions in tax over to the government and we all know they’d have spent it on art installations at some roundabout in Tipperary. Total waste of money – the definition of an intellectual in Tipp is someone who knows all the words to ‘Wagon Wheel’.
What is the life dream now? It would be really handy if they could find a way to clone me. I’ve signed a brutal prenup with Marjorie, she gets the town of Dunmanway if I’m caught cheating on her. (Did I mention I own Dunmanway – and that I wouldn’t mind selling it?) If there was a second me, the first one could be at home ignoring Marjorie’s requests to wash the helicopter, while the second one sits in a bar in Oslo telling some blondie one that she has gorgeous eyes.
How do you switch off? I find the trick is to not bother switching on in the first place.
What is your favourite Cork memory? I remember Cork won the hurling sometime in the mid-80s and during the homecoming ceremony on Patrick Street, I was up on my father’s shoulders. We were in St Tropez at the time, obvs, we always clear out of town when Cork wins anything in the hurling, you’d be surrounded by yahoos from Midleton. Mind you, it’s been a while since we had to clear out of Cork due to a hurling victory.
What is your favourite place in Cork? Kinsale. But not at low tide. Or during the rugby sevens. It’s all grand until some giant from Bristol decides to have slash up against your leg.
Do you have a favourite quote or motto? I live by ‘faber est suae quisque fortunae’. That’s the Latin for ‘you don’t speak Latin’.
When are you at your happiest? On stage. Or at the arrivals hall in Copenhagen Airport.
What is your hidden talent? I’m brilliant at the Waterford accent. I don’t give it an airing too often in case I get struck by lightning and end up stuck with it. Imagine!
What might we be surprised to know about you? I once dated a woman from Passage West. Look, we all make mistakes and she swore blind that she was from Monkstown. It’s very hard to tell the difference, and I’ve always said that Monkstown is just Passage West in a Volvo. But they’ll kick me out of the yacht club if I make that mistake again, so I’ve developed this swab test to check if someone is from Passage before I give her the old green light.
Anything else you’d like to share with us? Sharing isn’t really my thing to be honest.
Factfile
Name and position: Reggie, a character played by Pat Fitzgerald. As for position, any one at all as long as it’s with an open-minded woman from Copenhagen
Age: You can buzz off
Lives: €5.4 million mansion on the Blackrock Road. By the time this goes to print it will probably be over the €6 million mark. People are always saying to me that a house on the Blackrock Road is beyond the ordinary person now, as if that’s a bad thing. Sorry, but who wants to live next to an ordinary person? Keep them out in Bishopstown
Family: I’m married to Marjorie from the Rochestown Road, she married up. We have an open marriage, I’m just waiting for the right moment to tell her. We have 2 kids, Hugo and Allegra. They’re in a private school, you couldn’t afford it
Pets: We have a red setter called Harry. He went to a private school as well
Favourite thing about Cork: The airport carpark is in the same county as the airport itself. I flew into Dublin airport there last week, and we passed a Welcome to Co Kildare sign in the shuttle bus to the carpark
Least favourite thing about Cork: The way everyone knows how much you earn. It makes the old tax evasion very tricky
One thing you’d change about Cork: I’d put a nice little bridge over from Tivoli to the Blackrock Road so I don’t have to drive all the way into town to get home. I’d put a €40 toll on the bridge to discourage the northsiders from using it – they’re the exact sorts we don’t want down our neck of the woods