Come on over to mine!
Our world is increasingly dominated by digital interactions and fast-paced lifestyles and the simple act of inviting friends over for a meal or a cuppa might seem like a lost tradition.
Historically in Ireland, hospitality is woven into the cultural fabric, still the question arises: is the art of inviting people over a lost art? An article ‘The Art of Inviting People Over’ I read recently, sparked this reflection. It reminded me of the warmth and spontaneity from my youth in Germany where neighbours dropped by unannounced, friends gathered around the kitchen table, and the joy of sharing food without fuss. Yet today, many of us hesitate. We worry about the state of our homes, the complexity of the menu, or whether people are too busy to accept an invitation, which in many cases is true for some of my friends (saying that, I haven’t tried to invite people over in a long time).
But maybe it’s time to reclaim this tradition, not as a grand affair, but as a meaningful gesture of connection. Hosting doesn’t have to be perfect. It just should be sincere. So, why do we hesitate?
We can blame social media for setting unrealistic standards for entertaining, making us feel our homes or cooking aren’t ‘Instagram-worthy’.
Recently, I saw a TikTok video of a kids party where the mother created a luxurious dinner with a dessert where a plastic (but almost realistic) goldfish swam in the glass bowl beneath the dessert. It was obviously staged as I have never seen 8-10 year old kids sitting so well behaved around a dinner table.
We’re also more protective of our time, and the idea of preparing for guests can feel overwhelming. So, what’s stopping us? For many, it’s the fear of not being ‘ready’. The house isn’t tidy enough, the food isn’t fancy enough, the schedule is too packed.
We see these curated dinner parties and think ‘I could never pull that off’. But the truth is, most people aren’t coming over to judge your couch cushions. They’re coming to see you.
Being a good host doesn’t mean being flawless. It means being present. It means making someone feel welcome, whether you’re serving a roast or reheating pizza.
It’s about creating a space where people can relax, laugh, and maybe even forget about their own worries for a while. And that can be achieved with a good cup of tea and a fancy biscuit. Don’t run around clearing things away while your friends are over (unless you are signalling that it is time for them to go) but sit down yourself and enjoy the time you have with them.
And let’s not forget the joy it brings. There’s something deeply satisfying about sharing your space, your food, and your stories. It’s grounding. It reminds us that we’re part of something bigger than our daily routines and that there’s life outside of your four walls. Don’t wait for the perfect moment or the perfect menu. Just send the text: Fancy popping over?